"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne