“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”—Dave Barry
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
- Ambrose Bierce.
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“Saw a chameleon today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." - Unknown Author
“If you’re a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?”
- Guy Endore-Kaiser.
“My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”
- Elayne Boosler.
“My dog is a half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!”
- Craig Shoemaker.
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Beaver do better work than the Corps of Engineers.”
- Mike Todd.
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”
- Buddy Hackett.
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”
- James Rollins.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.”—Orlando Aloysius Battista
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.”—Mitch Hedberg
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
Go to BabaMail
