"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
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