"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
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