"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
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