"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown