"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown