“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
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