“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
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