"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro