“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz