“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
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