“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
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