“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson