“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx