“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown