“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street