“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel