"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard