“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis