"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker