“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
