"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown