“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown