“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown