"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
