“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
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