"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld