“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
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