“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”