“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
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