"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
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