"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
Go to BabaMail
