"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
Go to BabaMail
