“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
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