“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
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