“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
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