“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
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