“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
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