"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."
Mike Royko
"It's a hill. Get over it."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."
Rob de Castella
"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
Don Kardong
"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
Martin Mull
"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."
From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
Don Kardong
"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."
P.Z. Pearce
"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
Bill Kirby
“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor
“Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.” – Unknown
"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."
Unknown
"Start slow, then taper off."
Walt Stack
"Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run."
Jumbo Elliot
"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
Jimmy Fallon
"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
Unknown
"Run like you stole something."
Unknown
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.” – Amanda Brooks
“Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.”
Stanley from The Office
"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
Victoria Wood
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
Erma Bombeck
“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt
"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."
From the back of a T-shirt
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
William James
"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
Wendy Liebman
"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."
Unknown
"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."
Neil Armstrong
"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."
Robin Williams
"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."
Baron Hansen
"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."
Esa Tikkannen
"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."
Brooks Johnson
"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
Charles Schulz
"I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."
Marshall Brickman
"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
From a runner's T-shirt
"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."
From a runner's T-shirt
“Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
Rita Rudner
"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."
From an Adidas ad
"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."
From a runner's T-shirt
"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
Marty Stern
Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
Clarence DeMar
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."
Unknown
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
Franklin Jones
"There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
Gabrielle Zevin
"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
Gene Thibeault
"Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one."
Unknown
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