“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss