“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
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