“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
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