“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
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