“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
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