“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Monday should be optional.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
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