“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev