"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." Tim Allen
"Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing."
- Natasha Leggero
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories." — Melanie Clark
“A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.” - Phyllis Diller
"A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan." — Leopold Fetchner
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." — Cher
"Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." — Steve Martin
"If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools."
- Katherine Mansfield
"Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one." — Benjamin Franklin
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
"I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." — Chico Marx
"The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired." — Milton Berle
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger." - Unknown
"So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea." - King Jaffe Joffer, 'Coming to America'
"I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target." - Unknown
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." — Erich Segal
"When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own." — Lenore Coffee
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
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