“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." — Russell Brand
"Give your relationship attention like you would a plant. You have to water it every day and give it sunshine. So put your man out in the sun and spray him with a hose."
- Whitney Cummings.
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" Jean Illsley Clarke
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby."
- Natalie Wood.
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." — Cher
"I don't remember, you looking any better... But then again, I don't remember you."
- John Mayer, 'Who Says'
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me." Garry Shandling
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." — Erich Segal
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." — Albert Einstein
"Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one." – Fran Lebowitz
"I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"
- Gwyneth Paltrow
"It's fun to complain with someone. Nothing brings us together more than complaining about other people. That might be the thing that holds us together more than anything." Lew Schneider
"Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard
“I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” - Jenny Han, 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before'
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger." - Unknown
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
- Richard Jeni
"Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand." - Unknown
"You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories." — Melanie Clark
"Love thy neighbor, just watch out for thy husband." - Unknown
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." — Lemony Snicket
"Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier." - Mae West
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." - Henny Youngman
"Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back."
- Chelsea Peretti
"Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me, but then I remember I put up with you, so we're even." - Unknown
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." — Jules Renard
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
- Oscar Levant
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." – Jackie Mason
"Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. Now who's asking the questions?" — Jack Handy
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." — Fran Lebowitz
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield
"Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
- Oscar Wilde
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." — David Sedaris
"People should fall in love with their eyes closed."
- Andy Warhol
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books." — Alan King
"When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own." — Lenore Coffee
"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." - Chris Rock
"I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it."
- Amy Schumer
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
- George Carlin
"The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on." — Joan Rivers
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes." — Emo Philips
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."
- Steven Wright
Go to BabaMail
