"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
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