“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
Go to BabaMail
