“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
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