“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”
- H. L. Mencken.
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
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