“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”
- George Carlin.
“If you’re a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?”
- Guy Endore-Kaiser.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled “duck!” to warn him, but it just made it worse.”
- Kelkulus.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”—Dave Barry
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
- Ambrose Bierce.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
“You can always tell about somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
- Betty White.
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
“Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms.”
- Lloyd Alexander.
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”
- Sir Winston Churchill.
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
Go to BabaMail
