“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“My dog is a half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!”
- Craig Shoemaker.
“A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.”
- Hazel Nicholson.
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”
- Sir Winston Churchill.
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm.”
- Alfred North Whitehead.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."
- Ogden Nash
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”—Dave Barry
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
- Terry Pratchett.
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.”—Sian Ford
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“If you’re a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?”
- Guy Endore-Kaiser.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.”—John Peer
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”
- George Carlin.
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”—Kristan Higgins
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
Jerry Seinfeld
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.”
- Bill Vaughan.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
Sigmund Freud
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain