“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.”—John Peer
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
- Jerry Seinfeld.
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
- Marilyn Monroe
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
- Ambrose Bierce.
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
- Mark Twain
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.”
- Hazel Nicholson.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.”
- Elayne Boosler.
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.”
- Sir Winston Churchill.
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.