"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
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