"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
Go to BabaMail
