"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
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