“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown