"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
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