"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
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