"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
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