“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore