"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
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