“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
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