"How many Taureans does it take to change a lamp? None. Taureans don't like to change anything."
“I’m a Capricorn and I’m mad loyal — mad loyal! — and I will always look for the good in people.”
— Jeannie Mai
"A Scorpio will carry his grudge into the afterlife if necessary to get his revenge."
— Everett A. Blackman
"Aries people pick up steam while everyone else is running out of gas."
— Joanna Martine Woolfolk
"I'm a Taurus, and I defy you to find someone more stubborn, opinionated, and determined than me."
— Gary Garrison
“Aries: You can't handle me even if I came with instructions.”
“Demanding something from a Scorpio is a sure way to not have it happen.”
“I’m just a Sagittarius, and we’re kind of spontaneous.
So let’s head out to Vegas and find an Elvis to marry us.”
— Andy Grammer, “Blame It on the Stars”
“Millionaires don't use Astrology, billionaires do.”
― J.P. Morgan
"Taurus won't forget it. Taurus doesn't forget anything."
— Linda Goodman
“An Aquarius isn’t a rebel with a cause; they are the cause.”
— Jake Register
"Patience is not a virtue for Aries. The phrase Speak now or forever hold your peace, was probably created by an impatient Aries."
— Dr. Atara
"Pay attention to today's horoscope: Saturn is backtracking and it looks like you're going to be screwed again."
“Not telling me something because you don’t want to piss me off is probably the best way to piss me off.”
— ScorpioQuotes.com
“Sagittarians are not normally sentimental; however, they can get really attached to a favorite sweater that has seen better days.”
— Therrie Rosenvald
“The archer will walk up to you, give you a hearty slap on the back and a wide, friendly grin. Then he’ll greet you with a remark like, ‘How the heck do you manage to look so young when you’re as old as you are?'”
— Linda Goodman
“I don’t need the facts. I’m a Pisces.”
— Phil Volatile
"A Taurus always appears to be calm and steady, even when they feel like punching you in the face."
— Unknown
“I find being a Pisces a bit of a rollercoaster sometimes! I can talk myself right in and right out of any decision, any subject, any time.”
— Mary English
“So few people admit to belief in astrology, but I am yet to meet anyone who doesn't know their star sign.”
― P.K. Shaw
“Cancers are Moonchildren; totally influenced by the waxing and waning cycles of the Moon. Asking them to remain in one feeling, one mood, or one state of mind is pure insanity.”
— Sherene Schostak
“Fact. Pisces is the most wobbly sign of the zodiac.”
— Mary English
I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
― Noel Coward
“Almost every Aquarius is a rebel. Give them a guide and they won’t follow it. Tell them there’s a dress code and they’ll show up wearing nothing at all.”
— Alex Dimitrov and Dorothea Lasky
“That’s not how Aquarians operate. They don’t do things steadily, they are running about one day then comatose the next.”
— Mary English
"A Cancer's bed is their sanctuary. Therefore, if you can't find them, look under the down comforter."
— Unknown
“Sagittarians are aliens disguised as humans.”
— Ramana Pemmaraju
"Yesterday I read the horoscope and it was written:" Born of Gemini will be happy in 2018. "I was very sad that I didn't have a twin."
“Taurus: Lazy rule number 39: Can't reach it, don't need it.”
“I’m a typical Capricorn. I’m hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn, and I don’t believe in astrology.”
— Jonah Peretti
“Excuse me while I have a Pisces moment.”
— Patricia Lantz
"You get two for the price of one when you are a Gemini."
— Karan Johar
"No one betrays a Gemini and gets off without a sound ear-bashing."
— Richard MacDonald
“Aquarians are sort of unorthodox, original people — sort of wack, witty mad-caps who refuse to follow the crowd and go their own way.”
— Joanna Martine Woolfolk
“I have such an ego ’cause I’m a double Leo. I can’t let go of me, you know, so it’s very difficult for me to be somebody else and not me. I’m so into me.”
— Paul Mooney
"Scorpios are powerful creatures who demand equally potent cocktails."
— Aliza Kelly
