Funny Tax Quotes

Check out these famous and hilariously witty quotes about taxes!

Funny Tax Quotes

“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”