"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”