Funny Good Morning Quotes

Start your day with a smile with these humorous quotes!

Funny Good Morning Quotes

"There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'!"
– Fulton J. Sheen.
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
— Marty Rubin
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
— Punit Ghadge
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
— Moss Hart
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.”
— Marlo Thomas
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
— Robert Frost
"I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom."
— Unknown
"In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
— Robert Heinlein
"The easiest time to fall asleep is just after turning off the alarm clock."
– Unknown
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
"Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read."
– Raymond Carver
"I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day."
– Unknown
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
— Jim Davis
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
— Terry Pratchett
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
– Unknown
"My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door."
— Willie Geist
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
"I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
— Lewis Black
“Why can’t the morning news ever say ‘Today has been canceled, now go back to sleep.”
– Unknown
"People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it."
– Unknown
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
— James Marsden
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
– Richelle Mead
"Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well."
– Unknown
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
– Mickey Nice
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
— Tony Smite
"I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people."
– Unknown
“Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”
– Unknown
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
— William Feather
"When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
— Crystal Woods
"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
– Unknown
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
— Glen Cook
“Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
– Unknown
“Luckily, today has been canceled. Go back to bed.”
– Unknown
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
– Unknown
"It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning."
— H.G. Wells
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
"I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee."
– Terri Guillemets
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
— E. B. White
“Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
– Unknown
"The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me."
— Uknown
“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”
– Unknown